The Narrow Track

Hello everyone. 

Some time has passed since I last sat and put figurative pen to paper. 

To bring you up to speed, Evelyn has been doing very well. The induction course of chemotherapy has finished and she is getting back into a daily routine. The most recent chemotherapy treatment ceased on the 24th of July. The usual side effects have since reared their ugly heads – violent vomiting, fatigue and the lack of an appetite have been the worst and of course, multiple trips to the hospital for blood products. It has been a great feeling to know that she shouldn’t have to go through this horror at such regular intervals ever again. 

The next steps for us are to have a full work up of tests and scans to ensure that she is in a suitable position for surgery. Dr G has told us that the primary tumour in Evelyn’s tummy must be removed and this has been scheduled for the 22nd of August. Of course the thought of her being operated on is terrifying but like all of the pain and suffering so far, it is a necessary evil. 

Personally, I have had some of the lowest lows I’ve experienced since day one. The inability to spend quality time with my wife has taken its toll and a return to work has only exacerbated these issues. It seems that there is always someone due to visit the house. Nurses, friends, family are all of course welcome but by the time people have left and the house put back into order, too much time has passed for us to have any tangeable quality time as a family. I’m aware that it sounds incredibly selfish of me to want them all to myself but I feel that it’s unfair to not be able to have that time together. 

My workplace have been incredibly understanding but a return to work was required in order to keep my job. They have allowed me to work reduced hours which helps with the transition back to working man but it is much harder to leave home than ever before. I spend my days in near constant worry for Evelyn’s health and my wife’s sanity. As anyone with an infant knows, it’s difficult to manage alone so I’m sure you can imagine the added stress of looking after an infant with a life altering condition. Sure, there are parents out there that have it much harder than we do but when you get used to a care routine then have to change it from the ground up, it is very hard. 

As I write, I’m sitting in the hospital awaiting results from Evelyn’s blood count. Once these results arrive we should be ushered into the ward’s mini theatre so that the doctors can sedate my princess and take a bone marrow aspirate. They are also going to insert a cannula for the purpose of injecting a radioactive isotope which will act as a contrast for scans later in the week. 

Hopefully, all will go without incident and in a week or so, I will write to tell you that everything has been fine. Until then, take care of yourselves and your families, hold them close and tell them that you love them. Make time for people that you want to see but remember to make time for yourself too. 

Thanks for reading. 

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